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New ARM C Compiler Statements - Jokes


New ARM C Compiler Statements - Jokes
Structured languages have banned GOTOs and multiway conditional branches by replacing them with the simple IF-THEN-ELSE structure. The new C compiler for the ARM Cortex-M4 has the following new statements that satisfy the rules of structured programming and provide a more powerful programming environment:

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Conditional Statements

WHAT IF
Used in simulation languages. Branches before evaluating the test condition.
OR ELSE
Conditional threat as in: "Add these two numbers OR ELSE"
WHY NOT
Executes the code that follows in a devil-may-care fashion
WHO ELSE
Used for polling during I/O operations
ELSEWHERE
This is where your program really is when you think it's here
GOING GOING GONE
For writing unstructured programs. Takes a random branch to another part of your program.
Does the work of a hundred GOTOs

Case Statements

JUST IN CASE
For handling afterthoughts and fudge factors.
Allows you to multiply by zero to correct for accidently dividing by zero
BRIEF CASE
To encourage portable software
OPEN AND SHUT CASE
No proof of correctness is necessary with this one
IN ANY CASE
This one always works
HOPELESS CASE
This one never works
BASKET CASE
A really HOPELESS CASE

Loop Statements

DON'T DO WHILE NOT
The loop is not executed if the test condition is not false (or it's Friday afternoon)
DIDN'T DO
The loop executes once and hides all traces
WON'T DO
The program stops because it doesn't like the code inside the loop.
Execution can be resumed by typing "MAY I" at the command line
MIGHT DO
Depends on how the program is feeling.
Executed if the CPU is "up", not executed if the CPU is "down" or if its feelings have been hurt
DO UNTO OTHERS
Used to write the main loop for operating systems to antagonize all programs in a uniform manner
DO WAH
Used to write loops for computer generated music (e.g. Rag Timing)

 

Created:17-Nov-2011,
· Views: 21797
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