New ARM C Compiler Statements - Jokes

Conditional Statements

WHAT IF

Used in simulation languages. Branches before evaluating the test condition.

OR ELSE

Conditional threat as in: "Add these two numbers OR ELSE"

WHY NOT

Executes the code that follows in a devil-may-care fashion

WHO ELSE

Used for polling during I/O operations

ELSEWHERE

This is where your program really is when you think it's here

GOING GOING GONE

For writing unstructured programs. Takes a random branch to another part of your program.
Does the work of a hundred GOTOs

Case Statements

JUST IN CASE

For handling afterthoughts and fudge factors.
Allows you to multiply by zero to correct for accidently dividing by zero

BRIEF CASE

To encourage portable software

OPEN AND SHUT CASE

No proof of correctness is necessary with this one

IN ANY CASE

This one always works

HOPELESS CASE

This one never works

BASKET CASE

A really HOPELESS CASE

Loop Statements

DON'T DO WHILE NOT

The loop is not executed if the test condition is not false (or it's Friday afternoon)

DIDN'T DO

The loop executes once and hides all traces

WON'T DO

The program stops because it doesn't like the code inside the loop.
Execution can be resumed by typing "MAY I" at the command line

MIGHT DO

Depends on how the program is feeling.
Executed if the CPU is "up", not executed if the CPU is "down" or if its feelings have been hurt

DO UNTO OTHERS

Used to write the main loop for operating systems to antagonize all programs in a uniform manner

DO WAH

Used to write loops for computer generated music (e.g. Rag Timing)